Ahhh…. college

Oh, so that's liquid nitrogen pouring on me, then?

Certain events this week have me thinking about college.  And, don’t worry, this is a personal post but nothing sad or depressing.  I am not sure how interesting this will be to anyone who wasn’t there but I hope it makes you laugh, Ali.

The various pictures are all from the site: http://www.stonytbrooksucks.com and are undoctored photos from around campus.

I was back at Stony Brook for homecoming last fall — which was my first Stony Brook homecoming ever, I didn’t even go when I went there.  A lot has changed.  The bridge to nowhere is gone, which makes me sad.

First up:  Dumb things Stony Brook did.

Stony Brook University is supposed to be known as one of the best SUNY schools and have excellent science and engineering departments.  Yet the following statements are all true:

1. The hugely expensive sports complex cannot be used, as promised, for sports events like track because the track is six inches too short. 
   

   Attack of the crasher squirrel!

   (Similarly, the pool, also built for outside events, was built backwards.)

2. For years they had a ‘bridge to nowhere’ that was supposed to connect the library to the student union, one is across the street from the other but it failed to do so.
3. One university president, in his desire to make the school more like USC, wanted a bell tower with a clock to chime throughout the day but the school had no money so he played a recording of chimes, complete with static, on the hour, each hour.  Stay classy, Stony Brook.
4. Although hurricane season occurs every year at the same time, major roof repairs were done to many of the dorms in August.  Yes, one struck Long Island and yes, those dorms flooded.
5. Two quads were listed as “G” and “H” on diagrams for the school during its construction, not being clever enough to think of real names, they stayed that way for more than 30 years.
6. People always get lost in the library because when they wanted to expand it, they just build a new one around the old one.
7. When I was in the student government, I was on a panel to improve the quality of our food.  We were asked to discuss our most memorable experience with the food (seriously, not “what was your best food?” but what has your most “memorable experience with the food” — well, that time we…).  Mine was when they offered us veal patties.  Being curious about how a state school was serving veal, something which I have not eaten since I was 10, I asked for one.  It was empty.  Fried air.  That’s where those crack engineering minds were spending their time.

Next up: dumb things I did:

These are the things that should comfort me whenever I think it is early senility or my most recent head injury causing me to forget something (like the time recently I ran into get my checkbook and ran out with my remote control).  I should take heart; I was always this absent minded.  When we were roommates (side note: my name is Alyson, my roommate’s name was Alison and one of my best college friend’s name was Allison, you can imagine how interesting that made things), I thought our outgoing dorm voicemail should be one of those “I am sorry, can you please speak up…?” deals, so I recorded one.  My idea and my voice and yet it still managed to fool me at least five times.  All of the roommates (we were in a six person suite), thought it was hilarious that I set my alarm clock ahead by several minutes to trick myself.  A few joked they were going to change it to screw with me more and one did — rather than being 15 minutes ahead it was somewhere in the range of 90.  For more than a semester I showed up everywhere more than an hour early. (In my defense, that was only mornings when I had something early.  Against me, I was in the student government that year and clearly, no job on earth carries the importance of that, so I did go into “my office” pretty early most days.)

Remember Gina’s ‘heap of hope?’ (Gina was not the most tidy suitemate and had a pile roughly the size of Everest on her bed.)  Yes, that remote control we lost for several months was in there.

How about Misha the cat from hell? Or how she kept leaping from the balcony?  Or how we had to hide the cats in the shower when they did room inspections?  Or Randi’s birds that shit everywhere.  

Not sure why, but back in college I liked to walk around singing the Ivory Soap commercial.  Not kidding.  One day I was in some building on campus and ran into Iowa (another suitemate) singing it.  She swore me to promise never to tell anyone but I think the statute of limitations has run its course on that one.

Anyway, when I went back, there were a lot of changes.  I don’t know what this says about me — maybe nothing, the olfactory system is supposedly one of the most closely connected to memory — but when I walked down the stairs of the union building it was as if not a moment had passed since you and I were there.  The smell brought it all back: The Rainy Night House, that student government scandal my campaign nearly caused (ironic and sad) and how lucky I am that we were roommates.

Love you.

Happy Thanksgiving

Thank you for…

1.  The US Constitution:  It is easy to look at the recent Congressional failures, and the “super

The US Constitution, it rocks

committee” is only the most recent, and think “our system is broken.”  It isn’t.  Flawed, yes.  Injured, probably.  Broken, no.  One thing that has always confused me is why some people, upset by the results of the 2008 presidential campaign, preferred to think that we had entered the “end of days” rather than entertain the idea that they lost an election.  You see, I have some perspective on this.  I worked on the Gore 2000 campaign.  I was devastated by the result but I never — not once — considered George W. Bush to be anything but a legitimate president.  My belief in our system got me through that loss.  When you work on campaigns, sometime you lose.  It sucks but that’s part of the deal.

The other part of the equation is the recognition that as great as our system is, it is a tool.  No tool is better than the people who use it.  our representative democracy, otherwise known as a republic, reflects us.  If we do not like the results it produces, we have no one but ourselves to blame.   I have written several letters to the Washington Post about George Will.  He claims to be both a proponent of capitalism and an opponent of public broadcasting.  And yet, he hates reality TV.  I think you cannot argue that the free market is the best method to produce quality anything and then be angry when it produces crap.  The same can be said of our government. As Bill Clinton used to say, There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be fixed by what is right with America.  Amen, brother.

2. The Mets.  Do I hate to love them or love to hate them?  Clearly the former.  Oh, they break my heart every year.  I am not going to write any more right now about that, I need a break from hating myself.

3. Reality TV.  Jersey Shore.  Hoarders.  Anything with people who weight more than 500 pounds.  We all know why we watch; we want to feel better about our own lives and I am no different.  No, I don’t want to see wealthy, vain housewives spend more in an afternoon on napkins than I spend in a year on rent but  I like that as dirty as my apartment may get, I don’t have goats eating holes in my walls.  Oh, and I can stand up and walk around.  Seriously, your family cooks 12 chickens a day for you?  Do they deliver your heroin, too?  See?  I am clearly a disturbed person.

4. The GOP candidates for president.  About two years ago, I called Michele Bachmann’s office.  I said, “Look, I am not a constituent but I would love it if she ran for president.”  I did not add, because I write comedy and that would be awesome, I figured it was implied. I had no idea Herman Cain even existed.

Seriously, I am thankful for the Constitution but I am infinitely more thankful for my friends and family.  Thank you for being so awesome.

You know who you are.

Capitol cats deserve their equal time, too

Speaker Pelosi’s "Capitol Cat Cam"

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The morning paper was very thick today.

This was not a 'slow news week' for sure.

 

While the shooting at Virginia Tech. continues to dominate news coverage, it has been pushed back a little – by another shooting.  A disgruntled employee, Bill Phillips, went into building 44 at the in this afternoon and shot and killed a fellow engineer before killing himself.  Apparently two other people were held hostage, one was injured but the other was not.  The motive seems to be some kind of dispute between Phillips and his supervisors.  Nothing gets your mind off one terrible shooting than another terrible shooting. (CNN, video can be viewed here: http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/20/nasa.gunfire/index.html)  While nothing really positive can come from any of these kind of actions, the first shooting may have shone some light on depression & other mental health issues among college students and other students, this should do the same thing for workplace violence.  According to a report by the International Labor Organization (ILO, this report is here), homicide is the third leading cause of death at work.  The press release on the above report, says:

 

"Violence at work, ranging from bullying and mobbing, to threats by psychologically unstable co-workers, sexual harassment and homicide, is increasing worldwide and has reached epidemic levels in some countries."

 

The report suggests the news is not all bad and that while the above is true, the trend in the US is decreasing and more deaths at work are due to the nature of the employment, showcased in many reality shows such as the Discovery Channel's "the Deadliest Catch," which showcases crab fishing in Alaska. 

 

But this incident is not the first time this has happened and it will happen again.  The ILO, on the same page, has offered a set of guidelines aimed at helping employers deal with unhappy employees and prevent it from happening again.  Most cases of workplace bullying, for example, do not end up with violence.  This story will be eclipsed by the tragedy, and it is easy to see why.  As suicide is the third leading cause of death for people ages 15-24, once again I am going to say that we need to do more for people with mental illnesses — and that applies to both shootings.  The incident with which I am most familiar took place on July 1, 1993 in .  Another disgruntled employee entered a law office at 101 California street and killed eight people and wounded six others , this was one of the events that prompted Congress to pass a crime bill and the Assault Weapons ban, which has since expired — it was not renewed by the Dubya's administration.  Personally, I don't think anyone needs to have access to these weapons and agree with the ban.  People have the right to protect themselves, family and property and hunt but if you need an AK-47 to shoot a deer, you need either glasses or a class in hunting.  Gun lovers have said the Second Amendment is there 'to protect us from our government.'  Nothing, no assault rifle or anything else that you can get legally, is going to protect you from the military (and people have told me that's what they need protection from).

 

We need to stop our collective hand-wringing and second guessing and start to look at what happened and why and DO something — close gun loopholes, enforce the gun laws we have, allow schools to intervene when students become dangerous to others and create a society where we care about each other not fear each other.  People like to say they 'are not their brother's keeper,' that needs to change.  After re-watching "Bowling for Columbine" I want to move to .  On why people in big cities up north DO NOT LOCK THEIR DOORS (hey, I am from NY there is NO way I would ever feel safe sleeping in a house where the doors were unlocked) one woman said that people in the States are scared of other people while when they lock their doors they feel trapped.  They also have strong gun control laws and the like.  It is too bad it is so cold there.

 

Back in Washington, DC…

 

Things continued to look bad for our AG Alberto Gonzales as more Republicans called for his resignation, which does not seem to be in the cards.  It is comforting to know that while he knew little of what happened, per the number of time he said he did not recall or recollect events, he assured the Senate Judiciary Committee that 'nothing improper occurred,'  — that's very comforting.  (Hearing info here).  It seems obvious, to me anyway, that the AG knew a lot more than he is even saying now and that he thinks claiming ignorance will help, Senator Leahy, the committee's chairman, made it clear the smokescreen was not working.  The more this 'political fishing expedition,' as many Republicans have called it, continues, the more we learn that this White House treated the Justice Department like it was not a separate entity but a part of the White House.  Sen. Leahy said:

 

            "We hear disturbing reports that politics may have played a role in a growing number of cases. I have warned for years against the lack of prosecutorial experience and judgment throughout the leadership ranks of the Department. We are seeing the results amid rising crime, rampant war profiteering, abandonment of civil rights and voting rights enforcement efforts, and lack of accountability. This Justice Department seems to have lost its way.

            The Department of Justice must not be reduced to another political arm of the White House. The Department of Justice must be worthy of its name. The trust and confidence of the American people in federal law enforcement must be restored."            

I am working on getting more information on this but according to information provided by former AG Janet Reno, a small number of staffers at Justice and in the White House were able to work together but that number went from about 10 to about 400.  Sources have told me Senator Leahy found this to be some of the 'most interesting information' he has seen in all his years in the Senate.  The news magazine, the Nation, has documented the politicalization of many departments and has probably been the 'business as usual' approach towards all Executive Branch departments, which is not how it is supposed to work.  More on that to come…

 

For the record, I hope Mr. Gonzales stays on.  These people scare me and to think they are scary and competent scares me more.

 

Just when you thought it was safe to open a can of cat food…

 

It seems ANOTHER pet food ingredient has been contaminated by a chemical.  Melamine has been found in wheat gluten and rice protein that was used in pet foods and it appears most of if came from .  The Chinese are not cooperating with our FDA.  According to the Washington Post (April 20, 2007) the FDA inspects about 1.3 percent of human and pet food and some of the contaminated food might have been meant for human consumption, and I do not mean people who eat pet food (I saw a woman on some cable station who, and I swear this is true, has gained 500 pounds by eating cans of cat food because she is 'addicted to it,' if there is time there has to room for a post on that).  A list of pet foods NOT recalled can be found at www.thepetfoodlist.com.  As a pet owner, it has been really worrisome that so many pets, cats mostly and I have a cat and like him a lot, died.  Granted, some people do a lot of things for their pets that border on the obscene, like get them fur extensions and diamond collars, it is NOT too much to assume that when you buy pet food, it is safe for your pet.

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